Squeaky Clean
by TheCrowMaiden
Summary: Mild Age of Ultron spoilers! Pietro swears and Steve has had enough of the others giving him the side eye because of the "language" comment. He figures Pietro can help. Fluff and silliness ensues. Short, one shot.


Pietro reacted a split second too late, and the foam tipped arrow got him right in the kidneys.

"Aaaagh that _stings_!" he yelled, rolling out of the shooting zone and frantically rubbing at his back.

Though the safety arrows were all foam tipped and made with a thin shaft that easily broke, Natasha had gotten Tony to rig them up so they delivered an electrical shock that very much felt like being shot. Clint hadn't objected, and combined with the fact that the archer was still using a combat level bow, getting hit was a painful experience for Pietro.

At least he was being hit far less than he had been the first month. The first training exercises that Clint especially had insisted on once Pietro had recovered from Sokovia were avoidance manoeuvres. Pietro had thought that nothing would be worse than Natasha shooting at him with rubber bullets, but the arrows had proved him wrong.

Sitting up, Pietro glared at Clint, who was standing with an arrow notched on his bow and grinning smugly.

"That hurt, you old bastard!" Pietro said, one hand still massaging his back.

To his surprise all the Avengers gathered, apart from Wanda, snuck a glance at Steve. Pietro wasn't sure why, as Steve had approved the use of the electric current in the arrows for training and didn't interfere unless it appeared that someone was seriously hurt. Not to mention that they hadn't looked to him the four other times that Pietro had been shot that day and complained of pain. Then Tony muttered " _language"_ a moment later, causing Clint and Natasha to cover smirks and Bruce to shrug.

For his part, Steve just looked at everyone with a look of exasperation, and beckoned to the still confused Pietro.

"Come with me for a minute, kid."

Steve took Pietro down the hall and steered him into one of the smaller washrooms, ignoring the younger man's questions. Pietro looked around at the spotlessly neat facility, wondering what was going on, when Steve locked the door and pulled a bar of soap out of his belt pouch.

Soap.

"No way!" Pietro exclaimed, backing up and looking around for an exit that was not blocked by American muscle. He checked every corner of the room in a split second and stopped back by the sinks. He knew that with Steve standing solid in front of the door, there was no way that speed was going to get him out.

"You cannot be serious!" Pietro said desperately, getting ready to give the blond the chase of a lifetime as Steve unwrapped the soap.

"I'm not, actually." Steve said mildly, smiling. "But the others don't know that."

"What?" Pietro stopped looking for an escape route when it was apparent that Steve wasn't making any moves toward him, and he eyed the team leader suspiciously.

"The others, Stark especially, have gotten the idea that I'm a stickler about profanity. And they like to pretend to be concerned when anyone swears."

Steve ran the bar of soap under the nearest tap and scrubbed at it until he had the sink half full of thick and fluffy lather. He smiled at Pietro, and held up his bubble coated hands.

"I thought you might help me give them a reason to be concerned."

Pietro tore out of the washroom, whipping the door open with a bang and leaving a trail of bubbles behind him. He sped down the hall at full speed, his face covered in suds and hollering at the top of his lungs.

Wanda leapt to her feet, initially alarmed when he ran into the training area spitting and foaming, but her anxiety subsided when she easily read that he was faking.

The rest of the team had no such insight, and Pietro delighted in their shocked and disbelieving expressions.

Tony's mouth was hanging open, and he had forgotten to let go of the key he had pressed last. His projected screen displayed a long line of fs at the end of the code he had been writing, and Bruce was too busy looking back and forth between the bubble-spouting Pietro and the calmly composed Steve wiping the floor to correct it.

Clint and Natasha were trading looks that were both surprised and cautiously impressed, although Clint looked like he was seriously rethinking his former offer for Steve to come down to the farm and babysit his kids one day.

Pietro stopped racing around after a couple minutes of yelling and foaming, and let Wanda wipe his face clean with the warm cloth she had spirited in from somewhere. He made sure to give Steve looks of pronounced loathing every few seconds, even as he struggled not to break into a huge grin. Steve wasn't much better, and after he'd mopped up the last of the trail Pietro had left, he had to cough into his hand to hide the smile that was forming.

None of the Avengers would look at Pietro or Steve, and Tony and Bruce began with cleaning up the code with an air of deliberate casualness.

Wanda slapped Pietro's arm when he began to shake with suppressed laughter, and Steve had to hastily exit the room when Tony realized how long he'd been holding down the f key and after a long moment choked out a garbled curse.

"Son of - darn - cheese and _crackers_!"

* * *

 _I think that might be the last Pietro fic for a little while? Hahahah one shots are so addicting to just jot down._


End file.
